Water on moon?

There is some speculation about Chandrayaan finding water on moon. Does the news media really believe that is possible? People should think about all the other NASA and Russian satellites that have been roaming around that area did not do anything till now and this kal ka chhokra chandrayaan comes and discovers water !! To kya woh amereeki aur roosi satellites jhakh mar rahe the?

Two new items in TOI answer this question for us beautifully... Did chandrayaan find water on Moon's surface? and Chandrayaan-1 was 'killed' by heat stroke.

Therefore my detective mind reconstructed the truth like this - when Chandrayaan-1 was dying from the heat stroke, it wished for water on Moon's surface and would have imagined it during the process. This imagery made scientists believe that there is really water there :-)

Up for grabs

With the credibility of BJP reaching rock bottom, I think I am seriously reconsidering voting for them in the next elections. Congress suddenly looks so much better. It is a bitter pill to swallow, but my vote is up for grabs...

Sanatana Dharma

Moved to the planetarypositions website - Sanatana Dharma...

62 years of bhashan-baji

On the morning of 15th August, I did not even wake up till 8:00 AM since the gym was closed. My son also slept beatifically. My wife did not switch on the television as she made a quiet cup of tea for herself. We essentially missed the bhashan given by the Prime Minister at the Red Fort. When I woke up, I felt sorry for the old man who had to get up so early in the morning, reach Red Fort and give a speech who almost no one wants to listen. The group of people and dressed up children were there only because of an official dictat.

At about 9:00 AM, the breaking news was that SRK was detained at Newark's airport because he has a Muslim surname. In fact, on CNN-IBN, the order of headlines was (1) SRK's detention, (2) Bombing in Kabul and at a distant 3rd place - the PM's speech. Even the TV channels had other important things to show.

Which brings us to an important question - why do we keep up with these age old practices and unnecessary rituals in name of democracy? If the PM really wants to address the nation, he can surely use 15 mins of his time each week and talk to people on radio and television. What kind of status update can he provide to us once a year from 15th August? In our country where food prices go up every week, does just once a year of communication make sense? If it does not, lets put an end to this bhashan-baji. It will save us from a ritual and save 100s of crores of tax payers' money in organizing such events. Every year, what do we get by displaying the military hardware? Is it meant for us or for China and Pakistan? It looks ridiculous when we put the display against the backdrop of delays in defence equipment procurement, CAG rapping the whole Gorshkov deal and frequency of aircraft crashes.

PS: I think SRK created this whole drama and episode at Newark Airport just to get publicity for his next film - "My name is Khan"... Sorry Shahrukh Bhai, I really don't trust you. I think you are very much capable of such stunts :-)

Anti Doping

Everyone is aware of a the dialog between BCCI and WADA - World Anti Doping Agency with ICC in the middle. The whole dialog can be summed up as:

ICC: Kya hua, tera wada? Woh kasam, woh irada?

BCCI (while saying yes): Wada raha sanam...

WADA (while doing the policing): Jo wada kiya woh nibhana padega...

But the players are essentially bewafas, in no mood to comply. I fully support them because I feel that they are correct about all their objections against various clauses. The arguments are pretty convincing:

1. I am not addicted to cigarettes - otherwise I would have already appeared in ads for Nicorett by now.
2. I am not addicted to crack/cocaine otherwise it would have already come out in open.
3. While at home, why should I remain away from the cheap stuff available in outskirts of Delhi, Chandigarh or Ranchi? You just tell me 2 days in advance and I will stop.
4. Once in a while I go to exotic places for vacation... the local economy needs to be supported.
5. I can't tell you where I am going for vacation, otherwise photographers will start following me. If I don't ever take a vacation, that too is bad for my image.
6. Finally, I don't do performance enhancing drugs otherwise Team BCCI would not have lost so badly in T20 World Cup.

Team BCCI, we are with you on this one. No one can tell you what or where you can or cannot smoke.

Selling India's Poverty?

The charges against ISKCON Bangalore that they are trying to sell India's poverty abroad are ridiculous. If that is really the case, the following people should be immediately put behind bars.

(1) Arundhati Roy

(2) Aravind Adiga

(3) Salman Rushdie

(4) Danny Boyle

Futher, Arundhati Roy and Aravind Adiga should be declared as traitors and charged for treason. The other two folks should be treated in the same way as Ajmal Kasab and tried for waging war against India.

Kalam's Mistakes

If there is one person who is guilty in this whole frisking episode, is Dr. Kalam himself. There are three mistakes that I can point out:

(1) Who asked him to open his mouth after three months? The incident happened in April. This is July... WTF was he thinking?

(2) He was the President of India for full 5 years. Why did he not fix this commoner vs. king mentality where the protocol protects the kings everywhere?

(3) Who asked him to travel by Continental? Did he not look for reviews on the customer service by any US based airline?

What is done is done. He needs to first fire his travel manager now.

It hurts!!

Right now, I have one thing against the nation of Pakistan... a feeling of pure jealousy that is burning me from the inside. I could not watch the T20 world cup finals on 21st evening till the end. It was pretty clear early on which is the better team and who is gonna win this cup.

On 22nd morning when I switched on the TV, I changed the channel immediately that was showing all the Pakistanis dancing in streets on Islamabad and Lahore. However, it was pretty depressing to watch India specific news on other channels that were showing Lalgarh and Kashmir violence. On one other channel, Dhoni was busy selling the PSPO with koney koney me jyada hawa, while his cricket in the tournament was Pretty Stupid, Pretty Ordinary. Suddenly India seemed a depressing place to be and the only glimmer of good news was that some Indian scientists had managed to clone a buffalo.

What hurt more is that the winners from the 2007 world cup exited without a fight because they were too weak to put up one. They got hurt making money for themselves in some WWF style lousy fist fight.

Indian cricket was not always like that. I am sure you all remeber that in 1893, a bunch of villagers managed to beat the then imperial powers over a small issue of few hundred rupees in taxes and a big issue of pride. Almost a 100 years later, in 1983, we beat the then reigning kings West Indies and became world champions against all odds. In 2007, a bunch of kids playing for nothing but joy of cricket beat the mighty Aussies and SA and went on to win the finale too.

This Pakistani team is a lot like the 1893 Indian team that beat the British. They are playing for themselves, against the system and against the mega power the Imperial Premier League. None of the players were allowed to play for the IPL and worse, one of the major bowers Razzaq was a part of IPL's poor cousin the ICL.

Hats off Younis Bhai. You are the real hero. May God bless you.

Whats the point?

Whats the point behind wasting time in doing this identification parade? Did the whole world not see this guy wielding weapons in CST on camera? Even his mom and dad recognized him seeing his photograph...

Come one guys, give us a break. 

Aila? Storm?

I read this news item in Times of India - Kolkata stares at cyclone Aila and thought that even though IPL is over, there is one last match left between Kolkata Knight Riders and Mumbai Indians... to know more why I thought so, please read fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com. 

There is no storm left in Aila, btw. One of the guys at work called him Bhishma Pitamah of Indian Cricket - no wonder all the shikhandis in the world keep taking his wicket.

Mr Ruler, Suck on It!

At the beginning of IPL-1, India Today ran an article on KKR and Shahrukh Khan where he mentioned what his son thought about owning a cricket team. I would like to quote from India Today's article. And lets cut some slack to the kid, afterall he is just a kid, but of course no such courtesy's for Mr. SRK...

“He told me, ‘Papa, we are rulers, not servants. Let’s do this alone’. I woke up my wife (Gauri) in turn and told her this. She wasn’t very happy.”

Cut to IPL-2 and there is Mandira Bedi's interview where he essentially tells all his critics to go "Suck on it".

Based on these two interviews and after losing all these matches and reading through the juicy posts on the fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com, I would like to ask Mr. Khan - so, have you sucked on it already? Did it taste good? :-)

Swine Flu

Question: What would the swing flu be named by US administration if the flu had originated in India?

Answer: H1L1 flu

BTW, whats with the H1 visa now? Seems it is still available... see here

While you were sleeping...

Dear Mr. PM,

It was very heartening to see this statement that you made to the press - I'll revive economy in 100 days: PM and to know that you indeed care about this country's poor and middle class citizens. Thank  you for the gesture during the elections at the least.

To make you understand your job and what you need to achieve, I would like to tell you that while you were sleeping for the last 5 years, my grocery bill has gone up by 50-70%. I spend much more on petrol even while my commute to office is reduced. Expenditure on clothes has gone up as the shopkeeper explains that raw material has become costlier.

I cannot understand how our salaries and net worth have not gone up that much though, because when I was reading the newspaper the other day, it told me that one of your esteemed colleague and boss Rahul Gandhi pays about 11lakhs in income tax and is able to maintain shops and properties in prime location in Delhi - yet his sources of income remain mysterious. AFA we all know, he has no job and earns some paltry amount as MP. Can you tell us the magic of making such money, Mr. PM? Tell me the trick, buddy... who do I have to suck up to?

Last year you were so good to farmers and gave free money to rich farmers all over the country. Can you please waive off my car loan and house loan also? I too would like to do nothing and get money, you see. 

Prestige Shantiniketan Bangalore

I have been asked to take this message to all people who have booked a flat in Prestige Shantiniketan in Whitefield, Bangalore and would gladly do so.

If you are one of them or know anyone who has done a booking, please spread word this group in yahoo-groups: prestige_shantiniketan _at_ yahoogroups dot com. It is a pretty neat group with lot of action and information and ongoing discussions about project completion status, VAT/service tax, guidance value of the property, etc.

Recently, Prestige Shantiniketan Apartment Allotees Welfare Association (PSAAWA) was formed and the current strength is close to 350 PSNs. The group conducts regular meetings and is very active in answering questions, right from what is the correct paperwork to who is good supplier of kitchen fittings in Bangalore to some of the experiences of folks already living in the apartment complex.

As Prestige have started sending letters to PSNs informing that their flats are ready and that they pay the balance amounts and take possession of their flats, it seems that there are a lot of queries and open issues. PSAAWA as a group has been able to initiate a contact with the top brass of Prestige (a fruitful meeting happened with bigshots @ Prestige last month on 30-Jan-10) and achieve significantly which an individual would have normally found it difficult. I would request all PSNs who have not joined PSAAWA to join and strengthen the hands of the association. I am a proud member of PSAAWA.

Please get in touch with Mr Narayanan (mn1959@gmail.com) or Praveen (psn1042@yahoo.in) for details.

Do channel par "Jay" ho?

I think Arnab Goswami of Times Now pulled a fast one on viewers tonight.

This happened between 9:32 and 9:34 PM on March 09, 2009.

Mr. Jay Panda of BJD (you can get more information on him here) was live on CNN-IBN talking to Rajdeep Sardesai and Chandan Mitra of the BJP. I happened to flip the channel to Times Now and heard Arnab say that he will shortly have Jay Panda of the BJD on the program shortly. I was naturally curious and was wondering how was this being made possible. Jay Panda did appear on the program, answered Arnab's question and then vanished. At the exact same instance, Jay was also talking to Rajdeep.

From whatever little forensics my brain understands, I could make out that Jay was indeed having a conversation with Sardesai and Mitra and Arnab could have very well inserted a recording with tremendous effect. Just that he did not expect a detective like me watching two channels at the same time :-)

Mind you - this is supposed to be LIVE television... Or is it deferred live? How deferred? 5 mins, 10 mins?

Not been there...

I did not expect this kind of an article from a person who heads HSBC in India.
In an article in WSJ, Mr Tarun Kataria, who is the top boss of HSBC India claims that Obama's policies of capping bonuses and directing lending to a special segment of industry has strong parallels in Indian economy... Read his full article here.
Totally wrong, I would say. In case of US, the cap on salary is not on the best and the brightest brains. It is on the blokes who screwed it all up. They first misled everyone, took huge bonuses and then when the truth came out, ran to the Gov saying sorry. WTF?!?!
Mr. Banker, please don't take ordinary people like us for a ride.

Question of Pyaas

Two ads on India television recommend Pepsi and Sprite to quench thirst. Could someone tell me if cola drinks really help if someone is thirsty?
I googled and could not get a good answer. If cola drinks are diuretic and if body loses more water by drinking them then it would be really harmful to drink cola when you are thirsty. It would also be 180 degrees opposite of what these advertisements claim. कोई न बुझाये प्यास, सब कुछ है बकवास...

Seven second delay

While watching the oscars this morning, I kept reminding myself that there is just about seven second delay between the actual event and the transmission to the whole world. It does not look that way at all. The performances, lighting, live music and the presentation was perfect.
Compare this to any award function in India and you can only feel bad. National awards are too formal and boring. Filmfare/Stardust/Screen awards are shoddy in production value and are not even telecast the same day. It take almost week to edit and telecast. IMHO producers of such functions in India lack basic औकात (au-kaat).

Two political parties, one voice

Nope, this does not mean that the parties necessarily agree with each other. In fact, these two political parties could not have more divergent views on any topic. I am talking about the political advertisements on the telly.
One of the ads is by Behenji Mayavati (मेरे पास उनका साथ है) and other by Government of India, i.e. the Congress (Sonia). The voice in both the advertisements is same - belonging to Kailash Kher. Pretty cool for him since the grass is green on both sides of the fence :-)

Greenathon BS

A leading news channel in India - NDTV is indulging in an exercise called Greenathon to supposedly increase awareness about green technology among its viewers. It is a 24 hour long telecast, being called a first in the television history. Indeed it is and IMHO is the biggest bullshit any TV channel has ever produced in the name of environment, awareness, humanity and what not.

I would like to ask the owners of NDTV:

1. How much money did you spend in brainstorming about this program? The money is directly proportional to the amount of night oil burnt.
2. How much money is being paid to the anchors, artists and celebrities performing on this show? Because if it is in name of awareness, I do expect them to perform for free. Otherwise, they are going to take this money, spend it and add to carbon emissions.
3. You gave ads in newspapers, right? How much money/ink/paper/trees could have been saved otherwise?
4. The set looks phenomenal. How much did you spend on lighting and sound? Please remember each paisa saved on these items will add to saving carbon emissions.
5. What about post production e.g. editing the program? How many computers were used to add special effects? Could you have done with switching few off?

It was funny to see:

1. Toyota is one of the advertisers. I know of Toyota as one of the companies that makes cars. Cars burn petroleum products.
2. A senior person from Nokia was on the show asking people to recycle old phones. He should have rather asked everyone to keep using the old phones and buy less of the newer models that Nokia keeps bringing out. Now that would be committing suicide, isn't it?

It is sad that no one seems to understand that this problem is worsened because of consumption beyond what we really need. We ought to pledge for environment by doing one thing we all can - LOWER OUR STANDARD OF LIVING. And that includes watching less television; especially channels like NDTV.